‘Tampon Tim’ pulling out all the stops

All politicians lie, usually about unquantifiable things which cannot be readily disproven. And their lies always make themselves look better. 

Trump made mistakes in recounting a story about an emergency helicopter landing he thought he had with California’s grand old Democrat (GOD), Willie Brown. Brown, who was infamously Kamala Harris’ early political benefactor, said Trump had it wrong. It turns out Trump did not go down with Brown, but with another black California politician. He confused the two guys, but the record got corrected. And both sides let the story go pretty quickly because Kamala’s team is super-sensitive to past stories about politicians going down in California.

Trump tends to embellish and hyperbolate. I wish he would not, but he does. He rarely lies on substance; he is directionally right, but often technically problematic. He brags, boasts and brandishes bravado, which drives the Democrats and their media nuts. On purpose.

Democrat VP nominee Tim Walz is different. He has outright lied about how he got out of going to Iraq with his National Guard battalion. He lied about being at Bagram (Afghanistan) Air Base in war, his PTSD in 2004 after never having been deployed, and that he “went to war” with “weapons of war.” He did not. 

Walz’ superiors and his fellow National Guard members have called him a liar and a fake. CNN had to cut the mic of his commander when he told the story of Tim going around him to get out of going to Afghanistan. Even by Democrat standards, this guy is a fraud.

He did however, brilliantly command as Minnesota governor that the state put tampon dispensers in men’s restrooms. This was not only indicative of his nutty left-wing mindset but also his carelessness about spending taxpayer money. Hence, his long-standing nickname, “Tampon Tim.” It is nice for us in political satire when a politician comes to you already furnished with such a good nickname. 

Tim’s woke action to be gender fluid is all the rage on the left. In the famous Olympic pole-vaulting competition this year, we saw the video clip where a man’s private part knocked down the pole during the vault. We about all had the same question (that we would not have had eight years ago): Was this the women’s or men’s event? 

In “women’s” boxing after that person beat up that poor Italian woman, I think we all felt the best man won. This is the world we are in now. But, somehow, we are the jerks when we question it.

“Tampon Tim” fits the woke narrative that got us to this gender- confused place. Most men prefer to remain ignorant about feminine hygiene products. I only learned in grad school from a girlfriend who kept telling me Kotex is not the bald, lollipop sucking detective on TV, nor is the menstrual cycle the motorbike Evel Knievel used to jump the Snake River Canyon. You learn a lot in college.

As men and women, we have had a longstanding, tacit agreement that we were not going to talk about these things. It has worked well for 250 years. But it is now the new normal for sensitive liberal men to feign concern about such personally feminine topics. Somehow you must lose your man card to get your man card in the new Democrat Party. All this wussification happened about the same time it became acceptable for a man to have a cat as a pet. Historians will look back on it as the beginning of the end of our America.

And much like the mythical creatures in TV Kotex commercials who seem happy to get their period, “Tampon Tim” has always seemed joyous in showing that he cares by getting way too detailed about things he ought to avoid. 

Maybe, as the NY Post dubbed her, “Kama the Kameleon” picked Tim to divert folks’ attention away from her record. Inflation is killing the average American and they don’t want to talk about it. The economy is so bad now that even Joe Biden was laid off recently and had his job outsourced to an Indian. 

Ron Hart is a libertarian op-ed humorist, an award-winning author, and a frequent guest on TV and radio. He can be contacted at Ron@RonaldHart.com or @RonaldHart on Twitter.